Montana’s Nyx: Kitten Property Laws

Nyx’s Note, Volume I Chapter 6: Kitten Property Laws

Back in the 90s, an email circulated with the Toddler Property Laws.  It’s a fun look at how things become “Mine.”  Now caring for a kitten, I find a companion set of regulations this feline enforces.  All you cat people out there: how many of these do agree?

Kitten Property Laws

If it is or was in my paws, or my teeth is or was on it, it is Mine.

If it is on the floor, it is Mine.

All Things in the Home Territory where I reside is Mine.  I retain all right to explore my Territory in full and to paw any object or food within my Home Territory so long as I can access it.  Any attempts to reduce or confine my Territory will be met with vociferous protest.

If it is Mine, there must be no Pretext of it ever being Yours.

I reserve the Right to claw, bite and shred any Property that is Mine.  That includes human hands and feet, whether in socks or not.

If you try to take what is Mine, I reserve the Right and Authority to pounce upon it and retain Ownership.

Any surface in my Home Territory is available to me without restriction for the purpose of Naps.  This includes smooth surfaces, bed pillows, chairs and sofas, and human laps.

Any loose object on an elevated surface in my Home Territory or anywhere is available to me to swat down to the floor.

Any computer keyboard may be walked upon by me, regardless of any education in electronics, computers or AI.  I hold myself harmless from any responsibility for changes to electronic files, computer programs, websites, social media and the like.

Any I Missed?

Send me an email at Travis.Lee@townsquaremedia.com