A woman named Rebecca from Sarasota, FL, recently called into finance guru Dave Ramsey‘s radio show with a predicament.
She and her husband share a joint checking account for the mortgage but maintain separate accounts for everything else. She recently discovered that her husband has been gambling away money that should have been designated for bills and tells Ramsey that he’s expecting her to pick up the slack and cover his portion.
While Ramsey was initially a bit dismissive over her claims that her husband was “bad with money,” after he heard just how much had been gambled away, even he had to concede the situation was serious.
Ramsey gives caller a reality check
Ramsey was shocked to hear that Rebecca’s husband spent $14,000 on scratch-offs last month alone—$4,000 more than their combined monthly income.
“That’s an amount that raises alarm bells,” Ramsey says. “This is not 500 bucks on a sports betting app. This has gone way past that.”
While Ramsey typically advocates for married couples to combine their finances to foster unity and teamwork, he says that in this situation, Rebecca needs to take the reins.
“At this point, it’s cutting him off from access to the checking accounts,” Ramsey says. “This guy cannot be counted on. You’re going to have to manage the money on your own right now.”
Financial advisor Alex King, the founder of Generation Money, agrees, especially if the pair want to keep their house.
“It sounds like the husband has a serious gambling addiction and cannot be trusted with full access to household money.”
Ramsey suggests that Rebecca’s husband needs to go into therapy and Gamblers Anonymous—and maybe even marriage counseling, for good measure.
“You’re going to have to treat this like it’s very serious, because it is,” he says.
King concurs.
“Gambling is a serious addiction, so without addressing the underlying gambling problem, no financial system will work long term,” he says.
Missing mortgage payments can quickly lead to foreclosure
Fortunately, Rebecca’s husband didn’t tap into the joint account reserved for mortgage payments to cover his gambling debts.
“If the husband’s gambling meant that he used their savings which were intended for mortgage payments, it would risk missed payments, damaged credit, and even foreclosure,” King says.
You can generally only miss four consecutive mortgage payments before a lender typically initiates foreclosure proceedings.
“Housing costs, whether it’s a mortgage or rent, should always be protected first,” says King. “Separating money for essentials bills from discretionary spending is critical when one partner has a gambling problem. It highlights why strong safeguards need to be in place immediately.”
Protecting herself and her credit
King says Rebecca needs to protect herself legally and financially, as well as taking control of the household finances and ensuring bills are covered.
“That could mean separating any credit cards or other borrowing she has, and setting clear boundaries on what she will and won’t cover if her husband runs up gambling debts,” he says. “She should also avoid any joint debt besides the mortgage, to protect her credit as much as she can.”
King says it’s also worth her looking into support networks for herself, such as counseling or support groups for spouses of addicts.
“Fundamentally, she needs to prioritize her own financial stability and well-being while her husband works through recovery,” he says.
